There is a person I want to talk about. I sort of look up to them in a way. It was because of this person talking about their medical issues that I realised what I was experiencing was not just the after effects of anaesthetics and could possibly be caused by something else. We were both diagnosed with CFS/ ME around the same time last year. However I was disappointed to hear this person say that they had a bad year partially because of being diagnosed with CFS/ ME and just being sick in general.
Here is the thing. I don’t see the point of being negative about stuff. I mean yeah some crappy stuff happened last year, but good stuff happened too. Its not like focusing on the crappy stuff that happened will change it. You can’t change the past by complaining about it. So what is the point in focusing on it.
On negative thoughts.
Here is an example. Last year I went to Alton Towers with my sister. Even though we live together we don’t really do stuff together. So this was one of the only times we spent an entire day just the two of us. And it was brilliant. We talked, we argued, we ate doughnuts and we went on a bunch of roller coasters. However it was a typical English summer so it rained all day. I didn’t wear the right shoes so I got blisters all over my feet. But that didn’t stop us from having fun. The bad stuff that happened didn’t make the good stuff any less good.
The thing is I could quite easily say that 2014 was a bad year. Because if we are just focusing on the negatives then technically it was. I found out I might have seasonal affective disorder. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I spent a good part of the year on anti-depressants. I had to resign from my job. I’m basically living off savings. I would say from that view my year was pretty crappy.
But because of that good stuff happened too. I’m not scared to talk to a doctor any more. I can see that my chronic fatigue is getting better. Its hard to compare month to month but by comparing now to this time last year I can see an improvement. I had been wanting to leave my job for a while and this was just the kick up the butt I needed to actually do it. I’m better at saving my money now. Because I had to become better, but thats still a good thing.
What I’m trying to say is I don’t see the point in focusing on the bad stuff that happened in the past. Its the past. Its not like I can change it. What is the point in sitting around saying my life is terrible because some crappy stuff happened. Basically I don’t see the point in being Marvin the Android when I could be Arthur Dent. Or that other guy with two faces.
I would also like to that Dagny who partially inspired this post.