Going Back To Education With A Chronic Illness
So I did an update post a few weeks ago where I said that I was doing fine and wasn’t having any problems with my CFS… yeah I spoke too soon. Admittedly it did start out okay but the last three weeks have been awful.
Its not been good at all, which is really annoying in a way because I’ve been enjoying the course. I like doing the work, but I’m tired all the time. I mean I’m tired all the time anyway (I don’t remember what not being tired feels like). But it has got to the point where it’s started to affect my mental health which is never good.
I admit that its partially my own fault that it got so bad. I like class, I want to be in class, so far I haven’t missed a day. But it means I’ve been going in on days where I possibly shouldn’t have. I know that CFS isn’t like a cold that you can just work through. I know I’m not very good at managing how much energy I use. But I think part of that comes from me not wanting to accept that I have limitations on what I can do.
I suppose one good thing to come out of all this is I accepted that I needed help and spoke to student support. They have been so nice and reassuring, seriously, if you are a student and are having problems (even if its with something like anxiety or depression) go talk to student support. The woman I spoke to has been the only person apart from my doctor who fully understood how CFS can affects life.
One more thing I should mention, I was worried how I would explain to classmates about the CFS thing (because I didn’t want to talk about it if I didn’t have to (going back to this whole I am not my illness thing)). Turns out at 8:30 in the morning everyone is tired and I am definitely not the only one complaining about it.
This was a very long-winded way of saying I haven’t been as active here recently and sorry for taking so long to reply to comments.
6 Comments
Dan Antion
I hope you are able to get through the classes.
bluchickenninja
Thanks 🙂
Bex
I have CFS too and I never appreciated how awful it was from reading others write about it until I had it myself. It’s just so all-encompassing of one’s life! The old days are gone – at least I’m “old” so I got most of my younger years lived without it much… but still, it makes life very difficult and other people just don’t seem to get it. You have to get to the point where you don’t really care if they get it or not. I tried plodding on as usual for years until I admitted it all to myself and now the other people can take me or leave me… I just don’t care anymore.
bluchickenninja
Yeah, I remember I used to think that it would be fun to have ME/ CFS. I suppose thats because people really don’t understand what its like. I get really annoyed sometimes because I remember a time when I didn’t have to think about taking breaks while I’m out, or if I will be able to walk a certain distance.
Magpiemakingdo
Don’t worry about posts or blogging – just take care of yourself! Glad to hear you’re still enjoying the class despite the CFS (and seriously though, aren’t student support people the best?)
bluchickenninja
The student support people are great. I don’t know why I was so worried about talking to them.